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Late Nite Adobo

Typing out thoughts on a website… when the cravings hit you in the late nite…

Bravo, Pillsbury Doughboy. Bravo. Your implacable campaign of Unsloppy Joes  on the tele was super effective. Convinced that my meals have been lacking a certain je ne sais quoi, I’m determined to make dinner “pop” for a change. This is my story.

My production line.

So wow. Much clandestine.

CliffsNotes Recipe:

1. Cook sloppy joe meat – Brown ground turkey meat, drain, and mix with Manwich bold sauce. All Manwich sauce should be bold and manly!

2. Flatten out biscuit dough with a rolling pin or a bottle of your best pinot noir.

[Side note: Is there anything more tense than opening up a can of biscuit dough? It’s like watching a twisted version of Saw and the Pillsbury Doughboy is playing the role of Jigsaw.]

3. Put a spoonful of sloppy joe meat and a scoop of shredded cheese of your choice on a biscuit round.

4. Fold the biscuit round to enclose the filling, making a little pocket, and crimp the edges with a fork to make it look purdy.

Here’s where I did a little experimenting. Since I had no eggs and no baking knowledge whatsoever, I sealed some of the biscuits w/ olive oil, some w/ water, and some w/ melted butter.

5. Bake in a 375 degree pre-heated oven for 14 minutes or so, and voila! Oddly-shaped mutant empanadas! The sealant experiment didn’t matter, as most of the biscuits exploded open like skinny jeans after a buffet.

Heroes in a half-shell. 'Panada power.

Heroes in a half-shell. ‘Panada power!

All that & a side of slaw.

All that & a side of slaw.

Overall, this was an easy-peasy “semi-homemade” recipe, worthy of a Sandra Lee hair twirl or two. It could be that these unsloppy joes are made with buttermilk biscuits, but somehow these meat pockets exceeded my expectations. I think of them as an alternate, lunch lady land version of an empanada.

They’re extremely compact too, which make them perfect for multitasking on TPS reports, one-hand clapping to congratulate yourself on a poppin’ dinner, or…dare I say…homework! What in the…these unsloppy joes really ARE perfect for a school night!

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